“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.” 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

This is dedicated to my grandparents Hiatt.  They have moved to a lovely retirement community just around the corner from my own house after living in the same home for 45 or so years.  Its a beautiful home it encases many of my fondest memories as a little girl. Swinging in the old tree swing, playing the toys my grandma kept from my mother's childhood, the purple room- yes i mean the room is head to toe purple, learning to play the piano ( for all of 3 months), being read countless stories there, getting sick and having to stay over while my grandma made an amazing Slim Fast shake. ( I mean seriously she did the ice just perfect so it was just a little slushy), being highly over paid to do odd jobs there for both Grandma and Grandpa, having little lunches over there with my kids as they have already started getting older, knowing there was always love behind the suggestions they gave me as we sat around the table.

That is just a tip of the iceberg on the memories of what I will love about that place. I'm so excited that grandma and grandpa are entering the Ice cream sandwich stage of life. They have earned it! Even more important I realize that the memories of what I felt there will never leave me. The house will be passed on to someone new, someone new will get a chance to make some memories there, but the memories we have made we get to take with us forever.

Back to School, Updates, and Whatever else I want to talk about

Today marks the first week of back to school week. I've been out there scrolling social media a lot this summer and I have to say I am surprised about my experiences and feelings on there as of late.

There are a variety of things going on in the world that can create and generate a lot of of opinions. Social media allows people the luxury of stating those opinions without really thinking about the consequences of those actions. Perhaps I look at social media differently, or perhaps I am too easily irritated but some of the things that people post on the internet, but its been down right depressing to me! I liked a lot of people a lot more when I knew less about them. Its kinda a shame that things must be that way. Now, I know a simple solution to this problem would be -hey- stop checking facbebook or block those people or whatever-but the thing is these are people who for the most part I still love (or perhaps at least like) and I don't want to miss out on the other things that they my post. So for now, I am trying to weigh the good with bad and try to let the good show in people.

The other thing that I've been thinking of this week is how back to school time is so wonderful. Not because I don't want my children home with me. In fact, for the first time in my life I considered home schooling my kids (mostly because I was sick of the morning whine and grind) and the implications for what that would mean for our family. I decided against as I realized the sheer amount of work and time I would have to put in for them would not due them justice. But its wonderful to me because it's a new experience each year of their life. Soon in adult hood, days will begin to be very much the same. You will go to work or be taking care of home life or whatever it is you choose to do with adulthood and you will perhaps miss the days of school and variety. So far in my 3rd year (almost) teaching, I realize how much I love the beginning of a school year and meeting crop of students who will enrich my life for 9 months.

so I if I could summarize my thoughts in a few bullet points here they are:

1. I'm so over who you think I should vote for, also I'm so over being told a vote for a 3rd party is a win for the "other"side. This is America! We are on the same side! How about we choose a president who isn't crazy or untrustworthy! How about we vote for someone who stand ups and holds the same values as us instead of worrying about what political party will win!

2. People's views on race in this country are jacked. Maybe take some time and see things from someone else's point of view for a while.

3. Stop crying that your kids are going back to school and being a "mess", how about be excited that they  getting an opportunity to do something kids in other countries do not even have access to or can't even arrive to school safely.

Ok so this is my rant. Just one of those days where it seemed like it was time to unload some thoughts while my house is in rare quiet condition.

In the Midst of Things

Today is a post I need for myself. It's a wonderful day. It's Lucy's 6th birthday and she is having a big time with her new toys and seeing her Grandpa Hiatt today. I'm so glad they are getting to make these  memories together.

I will have a different memory of this day I think.  I will remember this as a day where I felt like a failure. I don't say these things because I am looking for praise or adoration from anyone. I say it because right now in the midst of things I'm having a hard time. Part of me knows this will pass or maybe will even be funny in a few years but right now I'd like to go ahead and skip ahead to the nogstiaclic part.

There are a variety of reasons that life has been stressful. I could list them, but I won't. Some of them are things I can work on. (such as helping the kids be better organized) Others are things I can't. Today Rex was just having a day. It may have started because we didn't go straight home after school or because he has a runny nose or because I didn't have the train that he was hoping for with me, but he spent a good 10 min trying to smack me in the face while we were at a frozen yogurt shop.  It's a defeating feeling, later when he wet his pants while in the car and I had to listen to him scream that he was wet the whole way to drop Claire off at dance class. Moments like these are known as meltdowns. My child is not throwing a tantrum to get what he wants. Meltdowns usually build over a time and result from something in the environment becoming too difficult or stimulating or when expectations in situation are not met.

In this journey of our family I try to stay positive and upbeat and in few days I most likely will feel better. But I wanted to write today about how sometimes things suck, especially in the midst of things, and all parents feel like this. I think the hardest part is not knowing what to expect for my son next. Will he still do these things in Kindergarten? Will I ever be able to potty train him?

This leads to another aspect of my life that needs some TLC. Right now, I am thinking of going to grad school to become a behavior therapist. I'm praying to know what path I will take in my life as my teaching license comes up for renewal in the next 3 years. I am both excited and terrified of the idea. I know I want to be able to learn and help other parents, teachers, etc who are feel the way I do today because I know how alone and out of place they can feel. There are many factors to consider with this idea and I want to make the best choice.

For now, I'll be content with my feelings. I'll hope for a good night's rest and I'll pray for each of my children to be happy and successful.